rps hell crazy stupid
Sep. 6th, 2021 09:05 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
binsualamal this is your fault
NOT REALLY ACTUALLY but yknow. I have a lot of thoughts and actually a very very long history when it comes to rps that dates back to like 2017. or smth. and like it's actually kind of fucked up and I haven't ever talked about it but here we go!! i'll do it in chronological order bc that's easier
rps in general
This got deleted. Im so. Ok anyways
Im actually kind of embarrassed abt rpf i am Not cool abt it the way amal is i think i am very cringe and bad. Like. there Is something dehumanizing abt rpf that im not okay with but also on the other hand i do believe that i approach it in a more aware way?? Like i’m gonna lock all my fics (sans longfic but thats bc it’s not As RPF as the others i think i might do away with the rpf and make it implied just for plot reasons) but i also dont do the nasty weird crazy people shit. Yknow like the rape or incest stuff like that’s actually insane for you to write a real human being as a rapist that’s genuinely fucked. Go to jail
But i believe that as long as you keep it separate from the idol and don’t try to make them a part of it then it’s fine. yknow?
Um what else did i include. OH . the way i go about rps is very Bias Oriented. Like if I do not ult an idol then I’m not very willing to write or read fic centered around them. Unless it’s friend fic of course. But somehow i always end up stanning people who are kind of neglected fic wise i’ll explain this in a bit. With my ult i partly project onto them? Both my personal feelings and also my desire for my idol. Like #mommy_milkers_changbin is me dealing with my dysphoria, but also wanting to fuck him stupid. It extends beyond smut but i digress
Okay so tropes and shit. I hate. Fuckin HATE whump. Of any kind. It’s so toxic sometimes like sometimes the people in whump objectively act stupid but they’re still babied?? Absolutely brainless shit. The idols who get this treatment are usually the ones i don’t end up liking that much. Which has led to problems but we’ll get to nct later haha
Im generally not that picky with tropes i really like canon compliant for some reason i think the mechanics of the idol world can be really fun like the busy schedule and the communal living and shit. Hanahaki can have a fun twist but it’s not that good. Mafia is boring but batshit gang as family is beautiful. I dont care for glamour give me Chaos. a/b/o is good when trans people write it. I’m more likely to click on oneshots over long fic but most long fic is REALLYYYYY good
Im such a meninist when it comes to kpop bc EXID broke my heart and turned me into the joker of liking women. But also like ficdom is non-existent with these groups. I don’t have very strong general opinions abt fic but it’s very very minor details that trip me up and piss me off.
Okay cracks knuckles full mental illness time
seventeen
This also got deleted sorry if it sounds lacklustre im so devastated i have to rewrite all of this
I started stanning svt in summer 2017 and from the very start I liked junhui and the thing abt junhui back then is that he had never really shown his personality on camera like now he is noodle kitty boy but then he had that weird ice prince image. It started going away with Going Seventeen but good god it was devastating for him on ao3 then. For a while junhao was the defacto jun ship and in it he’s kind of treated as minghao’s bf and nothing more and it pisses me offfff there were a few insane wonhuists/96 line stans back then (Swanny_Writer, transit, nisakomi. Looking at you) but other than that twas a dark time. Like he was The Arbitrary Top. like he was such a fuckboy in those fics it was insane. Now he’s the arbitrary bottom so we will never truly be free but alas.
Back then svt ao3 was Dominated by ships i hate. I generally don’t like ships involving wonwoo, soonyoung, jihoon, cheol, or chan bc they’re just. Guys. to me. Like they love their bandmates but for me i love seeing them in platonic dynamics more than romantic ones. Verkwan has always been popular but it’s one of those ships where i just want to watch their actual interactions instead of trying to replicate them in fic. No one write vernon correctly it’s so hard to bc he’s such a contradictory person Anyways. I hate meanie. Just straight up. It fucking sucks im a hater i hate it. Jeongcheol are best when they’re divorced and i hate the smitten scoups angle like yes he’d do anything for jeonghan but i see it in like. Jeonghan has been blackmailing seungcheol for years.
Tbh svt has been terrible for my ego bc all the ships i adored back then are popular now bc of how GoSe has evolved so i am smarter and sexier than everyone else fuck you. Gyuhui is top tier. Oh my fucking god i love gyuhui. They are so tall and broad shouldered and puppy-kitty. Like they are so loving to everyone and each other and the idea of these two giants being the biggest babies is so good idk how to explain it. They concede so much for each other and are so conscious but also they are for everyone else?? Idk. also in horniness. Service top mingyu and switch bottom jun. giggly teasing loving dom jun making mingyu cry is so good but also both of them being super desperate and weepy together. Hell yeah
Jihan is a new one and no one writes it the way i want to see it. They are fucking terrible. They are hotbox in a church parking lot and bicker-fuck so loud that someone calls the cops on them. I love how joshua tries to fight jeonghan and always loses. That’s sexy. Love a pathetic man. I love how jeonghan gets more ruthless with joshua bc he knows that joshua can take it AND that it’ll piss him off. Yknow that whole “sub riles up the dom in public and gets the life fucked out of them behind doors” bullshit. That is jihan but instead of jeonghan getting fucked, joshua tries to one up him and gets railed into tears. This is pure horny love for this ship btw i cant see them romantically they have been fwb for Years.
Casual ships. Uh. knightspur made me like gyuhao, but 97 line in general is good. Three homies who make out. 10/10. I dont like wonhui but there are a lot of fics that i think abt fondly. Verkwan is like that too but also i just want to watch youtube compilations that’s it. Someone wrote a fic where joshua wears schoolgirl clothes and gets fucked by weeb wonwoo and i think abt it daily. Also that long heist au based on boom boom? That’s my shit.
wanna one
i genuinely almost forgot that i stanned wanna one that’s how little of an impact this group had on me. Also i think i was kind of preyed upon/groomed by a 20 year old? Idk.
Wanna one was weird bc i didn’t watch broduce as it aired i binge watched it after Energetic dropped and of course i latched onto kim jaehwan. Don’t ask why i genuinely do not give a fuck about him now. I wrote like 2 fics for him and read a lot more?? I just think i liked his story in the show.
Um about the grooming. I joined nsfw twit (cringe i know) and i guess someone liked what i was writing. She was 23 i think? I was like 16 this was still 2017 btw but yeahhh she didn’t try and treat me sexually but we talked explicit stuff. Idk i just am a little baffled by this phase of my life. Energetic slapped okay.
Anyways. Minhwan was good. Also survival show shipping does go hard ngl it is very strange what competitive dancing does to men.
monsta x
Honestly this might’ve been before or after wanna one but it doesn’t really matter. I don’t have many monsta x shipping opinions again their actual dynamics were too good to properly be captured. It did solidify a lot of my haterisms like. I hate the mom!kihyun shit, i hate the way people treat minhyuk overall i don’t like that hyungwon is treated like this ethereal fairy being when he’s the most guy of guys of all time. I biased changkyun then which again Why Cube What For and he had so much whump that i only read bc it was so kudos’d. Monsta x fic is weird.
The thing is that they all debuted as adults AND despite having a 2 year age gap with the next oldest members + being the maknae, changkyun is very shippable with all the members. It kind of fuels the horny elements but never in a way that was satisfying. I like showho (my dads) and I liked minkyun and changki and any ship where changkyun is being bullied but mx fic can be super. lacklustre.
nct
okay. Here’s the whopper. Nct fic lasted me like. From 2018 to early 2019. I got harassed and threatened over it. I generally don’t like thinking abt it but also it’s kind of funny and i wanna talk about it
I was a markzen. I still fucking love that guy. I loved how earnest and hardworking and sweet he was. However, he was treated HORRIBLY by 2018 fic writers. They constantly made him this fucking homophobe and in general there was this really terrible fetishization of gay men that happened with the feminine/masculine thing and it made me so mad. This would normally be fine
However, i liked markhyuck
Writing markhyuck where donghyuck was not the baby princess angel was basically asking to be executed. 2018 nct ao3 WAS 1984. I was fucking harrassed for months with death threats and rape threats and disgusting hate for mark that dehumanized him bc i kept wanting to write stuff where donghyuck was in the wrong. To me donghyuck is someone who is on the selfish side and who is aware of it, and doesn’t like how selfish he is but he can’t help it. I think he’s a really compelling person and i like him a lot
A lot of people thought of me as a markhyuck anti. By the time i deactivated i had like. 1.3k followers? I had a semi popular twitter highschool au which was my attempt at actively deconstructing the narrative that people had made abt mark and jeno and lucas (lol at that last one by the way). I also hated what people did with ships like johnyong, or dojae. It’s like people divided nct into strictly masc/fem as bizarre as that sounds and it drove me fucking insane.
Anyways. That aside i think that nct ao3 has some of the best written work out there. The dynamic and range of the group lends itself to so much shit. Anything where johnny is allowed to be a full person is good. There’s this fic called Eye of Providence? That’s incredible. There’s so much beautiful shit but it’s such a slog to wade through the stuff. Most of my favs are things written by my friends back then. I was mutuals with ao3 user breadfruit and their fics are so good. They really influenced my approach to humour. I still think about them and hope they’re doing well. They were my fandom mom but they genuinely cared about me a lot. Honestly im kind of emotional thinking abt it?? Like they helped me realize i was nonbinary and shit. Like fuck. Miss you ‘Ulu.
A lot of my relationship with nct fic is really personal to the point where like. The only thing i can read now is bottom!mark nonsense IJFHDJBSK. There’s this weird thing where i fucking hate the whole “i raised you now we bang thing” but also mark’s dynamic with hyungline is absolutely fucking bonkers horny. Like holy shit dude. Idk i feel so much more detached from the group now because of the fact that someone tried to doxx me when i told people to stop writing smut abt 16 year old jisung.
Anyways. This is depressing but yeah. In the end nct was the last kpop group that i stanned for like years. I was just getting back into monsta x when wonho left and i fucking couldn’t do it after that. It really ruined me when that happened. However, the group that brought me back was
ateez
i started stanning ateez when i entered university. I was at a different school for my first year before The Pandemic and then i had to switch majors and move back home. Which was for the better probably bc i was super depressed at school ANYWAYS this is way too personal i swear i just do shit for comedy’s sake. Either way ateez genuinely saved my mental health from being at the rock bottom
I don’t really have strong ateez ship opinions. I can read anything and everything. I still have the same trope problems, and i do have some stipulations. But i just love them all so much. They’re such a comfort for me. Ot8 is real and i will not elaborate.
I have a lot of minor nitpicks? I would rather read a fic with background established woosan than a fic abt them and their relationship. Yeosang & Mingi are rarely written in a way that captures his personality. Hongjoong is my ult but also i kind of like the whump-y esque fics about him. He works hard and fics where he breaks down and is taken care of can be super cathartic. Hard dom seonghwa is hot and i like it more than the weepy sub seonghwa bc while he is baby and lovely i do not like seeing him be that in every fic. I like him as a service top.
I dont seek out ateez fic but i read whatever i find and i usually love it Aerchive/Aerclassic is a hero and i love their hongho and only theirs. That’s kind of it?? Idk. i just love ateez ficdom as a whole. It’s so pleasant. And horny. The horny stuff here is absolutely bonkers i love it. The opposite of nct ficdom which is probably why it brought me back. I dont think i could ever write anything strictly ateez though.
enhypen
tbh im gonna keep this short bc im very burnt out on enha now. I like jay. I like hyungline. I like objectifying them. Sunoo is too reminiscent of donghyuck for me at least in fandom perception. The sexualization of niki and jungwon reminds me too much of chenji in 2018.
Realizing that i was treating enha ao3 like nct ao3, down to the fucking. Twitter writer politics. Actually floored me. I knew i had to take a step back. Im glad i did tbh. I love these boys and i love what other people write but i cant properly engage with their shit. I genuinely might be traumatized from nct ficdom based on how i reacted to this realization.
Park jay is getting mark lee’d i feel. I don’t want to see it happen. I like that guy too much. I like watching them grow too. I think i will just consume enha content through amal’s tweets until they comeback or smth hehe. Im really interested in their lore from a fic perspective too! So that’ll be fun to talk abt
stray kids
OKAY IM FINALLY HERE
I do not like stray kids but i love them like. Idk how to explain it. I don’t think any of them really suit being an idol, except for maybe felix but also they have so much love and affection for their fans so im glad that they are idols. Like. they’re so paradoxical. They are so vicious in how they treat each other but they’re so physically affectionate and their personalities shouldn’t work but they do.
This might sound weird. I don’t like woojin but a part of me wishes i was here for the debut era just out of curiosity. A lot of fic with woojin has been deleted or edited and i’m just so curious to know how he affected the perception of the group. Like i heard a lot of stuff abt him being the mom or the normal one or whatever but yeah. Fuck him though like glad he’s gone.
Anyways. Changbin is the first kpop boy i actually want to fuck. And love. Im in a parasocial relationship with him, and i project that onto 00 line. I’m fully aware that i mischaracterize the boys and their relationship with changbin sometimes but i am so in love with this guy that idgaf.
But also?? Despite skz being The Most in terms of “here’s the one guy i like” i can still read other stuff. I don’t like chan centric works bc he’s one of those jihoon-esque constant characters i like. Like i can tolerate him in background relationships but for some reason i want to see him more in crossover ships and stuff than i do within the groups. I hateeee the woobification of jisung and felix like bro those are just men stop. Minho is really fun to see different people write & people who understand minsung can be geniuses sometimes. There’s this one hyunjin/minho fic which i adore?? Anyways.
Ive kind of given up atthis point tbh ok tldr; i have way more personal trauma associated with shipping than i remember and it’s kind of freaking me out.
NOT REALLY ACTUALLY but yknow. I have a lot of thoughts and actually a very very long history when it comes to rps that dates back to like 2017. or smth. and like it's actually kind of fucked up and I haven't ever talked about it but here we go!! i'll do it in chronological order bc that's easier
rps in general
This got deleted. Im so. Ok anywaysIm actually kind of embarrassed abt rpf i am Not cool abt it the way amal is i think i am very cringe and bad. Like. there Is something dehumanizing abt rpf that im not okay with but also on the other hand i do believe that i approach it in a more aware way?? Like i’m gonna lock all my fics (sans longfic but thats bc it’s not As RPF as the others i think i might do away with the rpf and make it implied just for plot reasons) but i also dont do the nasty weird crazy people shit. Yknow like the rape or incest stuff like that’s actually insane for you to write a real human being as a rapist that’s genuinely fucked. Go to jail
But i believe that as long as you keep it separate from the idol and don’t try to make them a part of it then it’s fine. yknow?
Um what else did i include. OH . the way i go about rps is very Bias Oriented. Like if I do not ult an idol then I’m not very willing to write or read fic centered around them. Unless it’s friend fic of course. But somehow i always end up stanning people who are kind of neglected fic wise i’ll explain this in a bit. With my ult i partly project onto them? Both my personal feelings and also my desire for my idol. Like #mommy_milkers_changbin is me dealing with my dysphoria, but also wanting to fuck him stupid. It extends beyond smut but i digress
Okay so tropes and shit. I hate. Fuckin HATE whump. Of any kind. It’s so toxic sometimes like sometimes the people in whump objectively act stupid but they’re still babied?? Absolutely brainless shit. The idols who get this treatment are usually the ones i don’t end up liking that much. Which has led to problems but we’ll get to nct later haha
Im generally not that picky with tropes i really like canon compliant for some reason i think the mechanics of the idol world can be really fun like the busy schedule and the communal living and shit. Hanahaki can have a fun twist but it’s not that good. Mafia is boring but batshit gang as family is beautiful. I dont care for glamour give me Chaos. a/b/o is good when trans people write it. I’m more likely to click on oneshots over long fic but most long fic is REALLYYYYY good
Im such a meninist when it comes to kpop bc EXID broke my heart and turned me into the joker of liking women. But also like ficdom is non-existent with these groups. I don’t have very strong general opinions abt fic but it’s very very minor details that trip me up and piss me off.
Okay cracks knuckles full mental illness time
seventeen
This also got deleted sorry if it sounds lacklustre im so devastated i have to rewrite all of thisI started stanning svt in summer 2017 and from the very start I liked junhui and the thing abt junhui back then is that he had never really shown his personality on camera like now he is noodle kitty boy but then he had that weird ice prince image. It started going away with Going Seventeen but good god it was devastating for him on ao3 then. For a while junhao was the defacto jun ship and in it he’s kind of treated as minghao’s bf and nothing more and it pisses me offfff there were a few insane wonhuists/96 line stans back then (Swanny_Writer, transit, nisakomi. Looking at you) but other than that twas a dark time. Like he was The Arbitrary Top. like he was such a fuckboy in those fics it was insane. Now he’s the arbitrary bottom so we will never truly be free but alas.
Back then svt ao3 was Dominated by ships i hate. I generally don’t like ships involving wonwoo, soonyoung, jihoon, cheol, or chan bc they’re just. Guys. to me. Like they love their bandmates but for me i love seeing them in platonic dynamics more than romantic ones. Verkwan has always been popular but it’s one of those ships where i just want to watch their actual interactions instead of trying to replicate them in fic. No one write vernon correctly it’s so hard to bc he’s such a contradictory person Anyways. I hate meanie. Just straight up. It fucking sucks im a hater i hate it. Jeongcheol are best when they’re divorced and i hate the smitten scoups angle like yes he’d do anything for jeonghan but i see it in like. Jeonghan has been blackmailing seungcheol for years.
Tbh svt has been terrible for my ego bc all the ships i adored back then are popular now bc of how GoSe has evolved so i am smarter and sexier than everyone else fuck you. Gyuhui is top tier. Oh my fucking god i love gyuhui. They are so tall and broad shouldered and puppy-kitty. Like they are so loving to everyone and each other and the idea of these two giants being the biggest babies is so good idk how to explain it. They concede so much for each other and are so conscious but also they are for everyone else?? Idk. also in horniness. Service top mingyu and switch bottom jun. giggly teasing loving dom jun making mingyu cry is so good but also both of them being super desperate and weepy together. Hell yeah
Jihan is a new one and no one writes it the way i want to see it. They are fucking terrible. They are hotbox in a church parking lot and bicker-fuck so loud that someone calls the cops on them. I love how joshua tries to fight jeonghan and always loses. That’s sexy. Love a pathetic man. I love how jeonghan gets more ruthless with joshua bc he knows that joshua can take it AND that it’ll piss him off. Yknow that whole “sub riles up the dom in public and gets the life fucked out of them behind doors” bullshit. That is jihan but instead of jeonghan getting fucked, joshua tries to one up him and gets railed into tears. This is pure horny love for this ship btw i cant see them romantically they have been fwb for Years.
Casual ships. Uh. knightspur made me like gyuhao, but 97 line in general is good. Three homies who make out. 10/10. I dont like wonhui but there are a lot of fics that i think abt fondly. Verkwan is like that too but also i just want to watch youtube compilations that’s it. Someone wrote a fic where joshua wears schoolgirl clothes and gets fucked by weeb wonwoo and i think abt it daily. Also that long heist au based on boom boom? That’s my shit.
wanna one
i genuinely almost forgot that i stanned wanna one that’s how little of an impact this group had on me. Also i think i was kind of preyed upon/groomed by a 20 year old? Idk. Wanna one was weird bc i didn’t watch broduce as it aired i binge watched it after Energetic dropped and of course i latched onto kim jaehwan. Don’t ask why i genuinely do not give a fuck about him now. I wrote like 2 fics for him and read a lot more?? I just think i liked his story in the show.
Um about the grooming. I joined nsfw twit (cringe i know) and i guess someone liked what i was writing. She was 23 i think? I was like 16 this was still 2017 btw but yeahhh she didn’t try and treat me sexually but we talked explicit stuff. Idk i just am a little baffled by this phase of my life. Energetic slapped okay.
Anyways. Minhwan was good. Also survival show shipping does go hard ngl it is very strange what competitive dancing does to men.
monsta x
Honestly this might’ve been before or after wanna one but it doesn’t really matter. I don’t have many monsta x shipping opinions again their actual dynamics were too good to properly be captured. It did solidify a lot of my haterisms like. I hate the mom!kihyun shit, i hate the way people treat minhyuk overall i don’t like that hyungwon is treated like this ethereal fairy being when he’s the most guy of guys of all time. I biased changkyun then which again Why Cube What For and he had so much whump that i only read bc it was so kudos’d. Monsta x fic is weird.The thing is that they all debuted as adults AND despite having a 2 year age gap with the next oldest members + being the maknae, changkyun is very shippable with all the members. It kind of fuels the horny elements but never in a way that was satisfying. I like showho (my dads) and I liked minkyun and changki and any ship where changkyun is being bullied but mx fic can be super. lacklustre.
nct
okay. Here’s the whopper. Nct fic lasted me like. From 2018 to early 2019. I got harassed and threatened over it. I generally don’t like thinking abt it but also it’s kind of funny and i wanna talk about itI was a markzen. I still fucking love that guy. I loved how earnest and hardworking and sweet he was. However, he was treated HORRIBLY by 2018 fic writers. They constantly made him this fucking homophobe and in general there was this really terrible fetishization of gay men that happened with the feminine/masculine thing and it made me so mad. This would normally be fine
However, i liked markhyuck
Writing markhyuck where donghyuck was not the baby princess angel was basically asking to be executed. 2018 nct ao3 WAS 1984. I was fucking harrassed for months with death threats and rape threats and disgusting hate for mark that dehumanized him bc i kept wanting to write stuff where donghyuck was in the wrong. To me donghyuck is someone who is on the selfish side and who is aware of it, and doesn’t like how selfish he is but he can’t help it. I think he’s a really compelling person and i like him a lot
A lot of people thought of me as a markhyuck anti. By the time i deactivated i had like. 1.3k followers? I had a semi popular twitter highschool au which was my attempt at actively deconstructing the narrative that people had made abt mark and jeno and lucas (lol at that last one by the way). I also hated what people did with ships like johnyong, or dojae. It’s like people divided nct into strictly masc/fem as bizarre as that sounds and it drove me fucking insane.
Anyways. That aside i think that nct ao3 has some of the best written work out there. The dynamic and range of the group lends itself to so much shit. Anything where johnny is allowed to be a full person is good. There’s this fic called Eye of Providence? That’s incredible. There’s so much beautiful shit but it’s such a slog to wade through the stuff. Most of my favs are things written by my friends back then. I was mutuals with ao3 user breadfruit and their fics are so good. They really influenced my approach to humour. I still think about them and hope they’re doing well. They were my fandom mom but they genuinely cared about me a lot. Honestly im kind of emotional thinking abt it?? Like they helped me realize i was nonbinary and shit. Like fuck. Miss you ‘Ulu.
A lot of my relationship with nct fic is really personal to the point where like. The only thing i can read now is bottom!mark nonsense IJFHDJBSK. There’s this weird thing where i fucking hate the whole “i raised you now we bang thing” but also mark’s dynamic with hyungline is absolutely fucking bonkers horny. Like holy shit dude. Idk i feel so much more detached from the group now because of the fact that someone tried to doxx me when i told people to stop writing smut abt 16 year old jisung.
Anyways. This is depressing but yeah. In the end nct was the last kpop group that i stanned for like years. I was just getting back into monsta x when wonho left and i fucking couldn’t do it after that. It really ruined me when that happened. However, the group that brought me back was
ateez
i started stanning ateez when i entered university. I was at a different school for my first year before The Pandemic and then i had to switch majors and move back home. Which was for the better probably bc i was super depressed at school ANYWAYS this is way too personal i swear i just do shit for comedy’s sake. Either way ateez genuinely saved my mental health from being at the rock bottomI don’t really have strong ateez ship opinions. I can read anything and everything. I still have the same trope problems, and i do have some stipulations. But i just love them all so much. They’re such a comfort for me. Ot8 is real and i will not elaborate.
I have a lot of minor nitpicks? I would rather read a fic with background established woosan than a fic abt them and their relationship. Yeosang & Mingi are rarely written in a way that captures his personality. Hongjoong is my ult but also i kind of like the whump-y esque fics about him. He works hard and fics where he breaks down and is taken care of can be super cathartic. Hard dom seonghwa is hot and i like it more than the weepy sub seonghwa bc while he is baby and lovely i do not like seeing him be that in every fic. I like him as a service top.
I dont seek out ateez fic but i read whatever i find and i usually love it Aerchive/Aerclassic is a hero and i love their hongho and only theirs. That’s kind of it?? Idk. i just love ateez ficdom as a whole. It’s so pleasant. And horny. The horny stuff here is absolutely bonkers i love it. The opposite of nct ficdom which is probably why it brought me back. I dont think i could ever write anything strictly ateez though.
enhypen
tbh im gonna keep this short bc im very burnt out on enha now. I like jay. I like hyungline. I like objectifying them. Sunoo is too reminiscent of donghyuck for me at least in fandom perception. The sexualization of niki and jungwon reminds me too much of chenji in 2018. Realizing that i was treating enha ao3 like nct ao3, down to the fucking. Twitter writer politics. Actually floored me. I knew i had to take a step back. Im glad i did tbh. I love these boys and i love what other people write but i cant properly engage with their shit. I genuinely might be traumatized from nct ficdom based on how i reacted to this realization.
Park jay is getting mark lee’d i feel. I don’t want to see it happen. I like that guy too much. I like watching them grow too. I think i will just consume enha content through amal’s tweets until they comeback or smth hehe. Im really interested in their lore from a fic perspective too! So that’ll be fun to talk abt
stray kids
OKAY IM FINALLY HEREI do not like stray kids but i love them like. Idk how to explain it. I don’t think any of them really suit being an idol, except for maybe felix but also they have so much love and affection for their fans so im glad that they are idols. Like. they’re so paradoxical. They are so vicious in how they treat each other but they’re so physically affectionate and their personalities shouldn’t work but they do.
This might sound weird. I don’t like woojin but a part of me wishes i was here for the debut era just out of curiosity. A lot of fic with woojin has been deleted or edited and i’m just so curious to know how he affected the perception of the group. Like i heard a lot of stuff abt him being the mom or the normal one or whatever but yeah. Fuck him though like glad he’s gone.
Anyways. Changbin is the first kpop boy i actually want to fuck. And love. Im in a parasocial relationship with him, and i project that onto 00 line. I’m fully aware that i mischaracterize the boys and their relationship with changbin sometimes but i am so in love with this guy that idgaf.
But also?? Despite skz being The Most in terms of “here’s the one guy i like” i can still read other stuff. I don’t like chan centric works bc he’s one of those jihoon-esque constant characters i like. Like i can tolerate him in background relationships but for some reason i want to see him more in crossover ships and stuff than i do within the groups. I hateeee the woobification of jisung and felix like bro those are just men stop. Minho is really fun to see different people write & people who understand minsung can be geniuses sometimes. There’s this one hyunjin/minho fic which i adore?? Anyways.
Ive kind of given up atthis point tbh ok tldr; i have way more personal trauma associated with shipping than i remember and it’s kind of freaking me out.
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Date: 2021-09-07 03:22 pm (UTC)im so happy to hear how much you love ateez because i relate heavily. also atz is literally the reason im into rpf and i generally started with a "i'll read anything and everything" mindset early ficdom days but now i definitely have some preferences. joong whump-y fics really are cathartic, i definitely agree. i will say though that i hate so many ateez fic writers because i was deep into the ficdom and like some people just suck LMAO but overall going into the ao3 is so easy and pleasant definitely agree.
im excited to absorb more skz content through your horny changbin lense honestly. youre so valid.
thank you for sharing this cube, i appreciate you and ily T__T <3
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Date: 2021-09-07 03:40 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2021-09-07 05:06 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2021-09-07 04:00 pm (UTC)anyway i wonder if i knew you on nctzen twitter but i think i gave up on having a writer persona and converted to a priv acc / also focused on skz around that time period so probably not. i can’t believe you were harassed as much as you were for your correct opinions and it’s crazy because i had a friend who went through the exact same shit… she was a donghyuck stan and literally hated all the narratives going around lol.
re: enhypen ao3 i don’t think it’ll become an nct ficdom pt2. i actually think enha ao3 has more of a chance of drifting towards txt’s range of tropes aka lots of good-ish fic and lots of BAD smut but at least that’s what i’d prefer even though i also don’t like txt ficdom. but yeah we’ll see? i think it’ll be alright. the markification of jay makes me wince… haven’t seen it yet but it’s absolutely something that could happen
anyway regarding wj dynamics he was the mom. woochan were the mom/dad ship of the century and i hated it so bad❤️ like i really didn’t give a fuck about wj in general and the only dynamic i enjoyed was woomin because i liked that they didn’t really like each other! sorry to be one of those “i got bad vibes from him immediately” but like yeah wj is literally ugly and talentless and was at the bottom of my bias list. but dynamics-wise… woochan, woobin, woolix and woosung were the ones i saw the most often (in that order).
important to note that skz's debut year was also the year when everyone was debating 00line nsfw discourse so people were like. OBSESSED with skz hyungline when it came to pornwriting as a result! iirc minchan and woobin were really popular back then. it was less about incorporating wj’s personality (or anyone in skz for that matter) and more about hornyposting… anyway fuck him tho❤️
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Date: 2021-09-08 02:58 pm (UTC)i guess im just happy to see you be unapologetic about your opinions (as someone who is still at the learning stage for it) like ? it can be ridiculously easy to take yourself and/or rpf/s too seriously so i take comfort in the unabashed energy here.
atz ot8 is so real as is the fact that mingi's characterisationkdjgkjsdgnsjkdjsdbhajkgndgdsbhjadbjdgsdhsdbh leaves a lot to be desired<3 THE AMOUNT OF DESPAIR I FELT WHEN I SAW YOU SAY JAY IS GETTING MARK LEE'D...NOT TO ACT LIKE I CARE HIM BUT ABSOLUTELY NOT !!!!!!!!! LEAVEEEEE JAYYYYY ALONEEEEEEEE
anyway, you seem to have worked through more trauma than you meant to (realised you even had?) so i hope u took some time to just lie down after that + am happy you have this space to write and think out loud whatever :]